Relationship Maintenance Tips for Couples

Relationship maintenance involves use of positivity, assurance, and openness to continue a positive path and nurture a good standing marriage. Here are some tips to maintain a healthy marriage and a healthy relationship:

1. “Date nights” are for couples who are struggling to maintain their relationships. Try doing things together that you enjoy from having the morning coffee together to late-night talks, anything that helps you maintain and build up your relationship.

2. Agree to one another’s ideas and thoughts. No two people can agree on one hundred percent of the things, but those who agree in day-to-day activities are a good match for each other. Of course, this does not involve cases where one of the partners feels unsafe or where you think limits are being crossed.

3. Get out of the fantasy. Drop the perfectionism as the healthiest of the couples are not perfect. Too many expectations can be toxic to your relationship.

4. Do not ever invalidate the feelings of your partner. Try listening to his/her feelings and assure him/her that you understand. This can work wonders in establishing your relationship. References Watchel, E. F. (2016). The Heart of Couple Therapy: Knowing What to Do and How to Do It. New York: The Guilford Press.

Both parties’ intentions good and bad intentions may send the unintended message. The message is only how it is perceived or understood. If for whatever reason one party has a wall, stubborn, or relish in being contempt moving forward can be an ordeal. One may still struggle with getting on the right path to nurture the relationship and grow as a unit. Sometimes having a neutral space to gain skills to encourage greater outcomes is critical in overcoming tough obstacles. In conclusion, therapy is a great tool to use for couples. Establishing a relationship with a clinician will help to reduce misunderstandings, being edified of new skills, and evoke actions for positive change. Simply being aware of skills is not enough. The couple must learn to apply skills when the relationship is not in distress. Learning to use skills in happy times will make things easier when true challenge presents themselves during the life span of the relationship. The goal is to alleviate stress and ignite the fire of romance that set the couple on a path of love mates initially. Couples should be encouraged to seek support and use this valuable tool of therapy in good or bad times, during dating process, before marriage (premarital counseling), and during the marriage journey.

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